Dog Food Disco: An Object Lesson

We recently added a puppy to our family menagerie. I’m now the only woman in the house with a son, an 18-year-old male cat, a 15-year-old male dog (Jake), and an 8-month-old male puppy (Rascal). As you can imagine, the old dudes didn’t know quite what to think about the young punk when he showed up three months ago, nipping at ears and paws and begging to play. For the most part, they’ve all adapted, though we still have our occasional flare ups, especially when it comes to food.

For those of you with pets, you know that puppies are supposed to eat puppy food for the first year. Old dogs are supposed to eat old-dog food. Each type is specially formulated with nutrients for that stage of the dog’s life.

Being the good dog mom, I’ve bought premium versions of both types of food. The first few times I tried feeding both dogs at the same time, I discovered a whole new form of exercise: the dog food disco. It goes like this: Try to get both bowls down at the same time (so neither feels slighted), then quickly hold each of them back from trying to eat the other’s food while they wiggle, wrangle, and squirm their way to get to the other’s bowl.

I know what you’re thinking: If they want the other’s food so badly, just swap their bowls. Put the old-dog food in the puppy’s dish and vise versa. Yeah, you would think. But they are way smarter than that. Here’s the solution I finally discovered.

Step 1: Fill both bowls.

Step 2: Take both bowls to a chair where you can sit comfortably and have room for both dogs. (This can be treacherous if your dog is like Rascal and can jump three feet straight in the air while walking across the room trying to catch his dish.)

Step 3: Sit down and place a bowl down on each side of you.


Let the Games Begin

Here’s where the dog food disco begins, so pay attention. Each dog will still attempt to get the other’s food. You have to be quicker than they are. Be prepared to pick up and move the bowl out of the wrong dog’s way and set it where only the right dog can get it.

You will find that this is worth a good five to ten minutes of intense cardio (for you and the dogs) as they still try to get to the “wrong” food while you continually pick up and swap the bowls before they can reach the one they're not supposed to have. (You will need good hand-eye coordination for this, and it probably helps to be a bit ambidextrous with good rhythm.) Don’t worry: This will get easier with practice, and eventually they will each eat all of the “right” food just to prevent the other dog from getting to it.


And Your Point Is?...

Okay, so here’s why I’ve shared this with you: God often speaks to me through object lessons, and this was a big one for me. See if you can relate.

God knows just what we need in each of our lives. He has the perfect plan—formula—for us based on our unique wants, needs, gifts, and abilities. He prepares those things for us and gives them to us according to the perfect timing. And then we try to go after what he’s given to the person next to us.

We know that we should be relishing the thing he’s prepared for us, but the other dishes look so much better than ours. If we could only have what the other person had, life would really be good. And then we start the human version of the dog food disco, only our version normally comes with much harsher consequences.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:1–3


Are You Saying I Just Shouldn’t Ask for Things?

Absolutely not! Here’s what Jesus had to say about asking for the things we desire. “‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!’ ” Matthew 7: 7–11

The question is not whether we should ask God for things, but whether we trust that what he’s given us are “good gifts.” Do we know that he’s not slighting us because what he gives us is different than what he gives someone else? Or do we spend our time trying to chase after what another has, despising the dish he’s prepared just for us?

Hmm. I’d love to tell you that I’m always content with what God sets before me, that I never envy what I see someone else receiving, and that I’ve never wasted energy chasing after what they got rather than enjoying the good things God has prepared for me. Unfortunately, that’s just not true.

The wonderful thing about God is that he uses the simple illustrations like the dog food disco to teach me that I can trust him to give me exactly what’s best for me. Now, when I’m tempted to chase after that which I see someone else attaining, I remember that picture: legs, feet, and tails in a tangle, each trying to outmatch the other before finally settling for his own. I chuckle at the thought, and I laugh at myself, and I thank God that he doesn’t just give in and give me the wrong thing I’m chasing after!


Why Doesn’t God Give Me All of the Great Stuff I See Him Giving to Others?

God knows each of us better than we know ourselves. Like a good parent, he’s helping us—refining us—for our unique destinies.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:2–5

If it’s a trial for you not to chase after what someone else has and not to be angry with God that you don’t have that thing, you are not alone. God promises, though, that such testing of your faith will develop perseverance with the end result being that you don’t lack anything. More than that, God gives us permission to ask for his wisdom in these situations, and he gives it to us without finding fault.

In a nutshell: If you need something, ask for it. Don’t spend your time fussing and battling with others to try to get it. If you don’t get it, trust that every good gift comes from God. Trust that he is developing you so that you don’t lack anything. He knows exactly what you need and when you need it, better than you know yourself.

The Message puts it this way: “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this.” (Proverbs 3:5–12)

429 Is the Loneliest Number of Them All

Not really, but it is discouraging at times. Then I remember God’s faithfulness, and my prayer request, and I smile about it.

Let me explain:

• 429 is the number of matches that I’ve had on eHarmony since November 6, 2008.

• Out of all of those matches 238 are still open; 191 are closed. (I checked out of curiosity.)

• Of those 429, not one of them has ever developed into anything. Not one.

Keep in mind that I’ve posted photos, I’ve polished my profile (and revised it several times), and I’ve tried a mix of icebreakers, wait and see, guided communication questions, and request fast-track options (all familiar communication choices to any of you who’ve been on eHarmony). Nada.

I’ve come to expect that when I see a profile of anyone who interests me in the least, they immediately close the match. The rest of the matches just sit there and languish in the “new” category.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think this is an issue with eHarmony. I think it’s an answer to prayer.


Be Specific with Your Prayer Requests

When I became single again six years ago, my top prayer request was: “Lord, I never want to experience that kind of devastation again. I want you to bring the godly husband you intend me to have, and until that time, I don’t even want to date.”

Trust me: There have been many times when I’ve questioned how it’s possible that no one has asked me for a date in six years. When I’m tempted to get discouraged, God asks me, “So do you want to date, or don’t you?” Of course, he already knows the answer to that question.

I don’t want “a man”; I want “the man” that God intends for me and me for him. And so I wait. Lately, my prayer has become: “Lord, if you don’t intend for me to have a husband again, please remove the desire from me.” He hasn’t, and so I’m left to trust that it’s a matter of timing.


Waiting...Still Waiting...And Waiting...

Have you found yourself playing the waiting game? If you have, be encouraged. God can be trusted during the wait:

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13–14

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in (wait upon) the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28–31


My Plan or His?

Who knows how many eHarmony matches I will eventually have or whether any of them will ever be the door through which God brings “the one.” We’ll see when it’s all said and done. I truly believe that I could cancel the prayer request and go about the world's way of dating everyone I can get to look my way. But that's truly not what I want, so I’m going to continue to choose God’s plan for my life.

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity.’ ” Jeremiah 29:11–14

Right now his plan calls for waiting. So I wait. John Waller has written a song about this: "While I'm Waiting." I highly recommend it to anyone who's waiting. Here's a sample of the lyrics:

"I'm waiting. I'm waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful. I'm waiting on you Lord though it is painful, but patiently I will wait. I will move ahead bold and confident taking every step in obedience. While I'm waiting, I will serve you. While I'm waiting, I will worship. While I'm waiting, I will not faint. I'll be running the race even while I wait."

Yep, I'm going to wait this one out. Care to join me?

UPDATE to This Post (Spring 2010)
Call me an eternal optimist, but I actually tried to open a new eHarmony account. Perhaps this time the outcome would be different. Round 2 resulted in 288 matches, 0 communicating (total tally from the 2 rounds: 717 matches, 0 relationships developed). God you DO have a sense of humor! Thank you for protecting me from my own impatience! The second account is now also closed.